Asking questions is sometimes the best way to move forward. And asking them out loud is much better than letting them sit and fester in your mind. Just finding the question, acknowledging the question and putting the question out there is a huge step forward, because it allows you space to wait for the answer to come back. The trouble is we spend a lot of time avoiding questions because we fear what the answer might entail. It involves thinking and that is scary huh?
We avoid thinking sometimes because we’d prefer to have things left as they are rather than disturbing unhealed wounds. Crazy as it seems, we prefer to trundle on struggling and working day after day, knowing deep down that something is not working, rather than slowing down and listening to our hearts that can guide us towards our next step. So why is it difficult to ask questions sometimes? Look at a small child and they’re full of questions. The world is just one big question! What, why, where, when … One after the other they just fall out of their mouths. But as we become adults, we hold stuff back. We think about what we say, try to craft a ‘clever question’ or a ‘question that will bear most fruit’ or just keep out mouths shut because it’s easier and we don’t want to make waves or look silly. Oh yeah, I feel that one – looking silly – we don’t want to do that do we!!!
So why are we so bad at asking questions these days? Here’s a few thoughts on that:
When we ask a question, we are acknowledging to ourselves that we don’t have the answer and sometimes that can be troublesome to our egos.
There’s many just like to think they know best, they’ve done it before so there’s nothing to learn, or that they can’t learn from anyone else.
Many a great question has gone unspoken from fear of looking foolish, or thinking that it’s silly or they should really know the answer.
We take it granted what ‘experts’ say – they must know better so who am I to question their judgement.
Then of course, you don’t know how to ask a question if you don’t know there’s an answer to be got! It’s just too hard to craft a question around a subject you don’t understand! You don’t hae the words for it –
And asking questions means you don’t know everything, you don’t have your shit together so people won’t take you seriously in your field …
Of course you don’t even have to ask the question directly to another person. Just by listening and acknowledging your own questions and releasing them out into the world, you open up space for the answer to come to you. It’s amazing how many times I’ve sat and thought about something that I’m stuck on, crafted a question, put it out there in my mind and let it go. The answer comes when you least expect it, or the person with the answer appears just at the right time with the answer to your question – often without even having to ask it directly.
Oh there’s so many reasons why we keep our mouths shut I know.
Holding questions back:
I love solving problems so I love asking questions. I love learning. I love the challenge of something new and seeking answers from a new perspective. I love to be inquisitive and curious and look for a new way, a new path, a new idea. It’s the creative in me. Here’s some great questions you might like to ask yourself
1. What is ONE question that you can ask – of yourself – or someone else, that will give you the biggest momentum, or clarity right now to move towards your dreams and visions more confidently? It might be tangible, or it might be more abstract.
Ask me now! Join me at Big Vision Baby Steps on facebook and I’ll answer your questions if I can!