If you don’t know what the question is, you’ll never find the answer


Asking questions is sometimes the best way to move forward. And asking them out loud is much better than letting them sit and fester in your mind. Just finding the question, acknowledging the question and putting the question out there is a huge step forward, because it allows you space to wait for the answer to come back. The trouble is we spend a lot of time avoiding questions because we fear what the answer might entail. It involves thinking and that is scary huh?

We avoid thinking sometimes because we’d prefer to have things left as they are rather than disturbing unhealed wounds. Crazy as it seems, we prefer to trundle on struggling and working day after day, knowing deep down that something is not working, rather than slowing down and listening to our hearts that can guide us towards our next step. So why is it difficult to ask questions sometimes? Look at a small child and they’re full of questions. The world is just one big question! What, why, where, when … One after the other they just fall out of their mouths. But as we become adults, we hold stuff back. We think about what we say, try to craft a ‘clever question’ or a ‘question that will bear most fruit’ or just keep out mouths shut because it’s easier and we don’t want to make waves or look silly. Oh yeah, I feel that one – looking silly – we don’t want to do that do we!!!

So why are we so bad at asking questions these days? Here are a few thoughts on that:

When we ask a question, we are acknowledging to ourselves that we don’t have the answer and sometimes that can be troublesome to our egos.
There’s many just like to think they know best, they’ve done it before so there’s nothing to learn, or that they can’t learn from anyone else.
Many a great question has gone unspoken from fear of looking foolish or thinking that it’s silly or they should really know the answer.
We take it granted what ‘experts’ say – they must know better so who am I to question their judgment.
Then of course, you don’t know how to ask a question if you don’t know there’s an answer to be got! It’s just too hard to craft a question around a subject you don’t understand! You don’t have the words for it –
And asking questions means you don’t know everything, you don’t have your shit together so people won’t take you seriously in your field …

Of course, you don’t even have to ask the question directly to another person. Just by listening and acknowledging your own questions and releasing them out into the world, you open up space for the answer to come to you. It’s amazing how many times I’ve sat and thought about something that I’m stuck on, crafted a question, put it out there in my mind and let it go. The answer comes when you least expect it, or the person with the answer appears just at the right time with the answer to your question – often without even having to ask it directly.

Oh, there are so many reasons why we keep our mouths shut I know.

Asking questions:

  • Frees the mind to allow new ideas in
  • Helps you acknowledge your current situation from a real perspective
  • Helps you let go of worrying and fretting over what to do next
  • Keeps you curious
  • Gives you answers!
  • Helps you grow
  • Helps others grow – you’re probably going to answer a question that’s on other people’s minds too!

Holding questions back:

  • Weighs down the mind and creates stuck energy
  • Makes you feel annoyed with yourself for not having the guts to ask them!
  • Keeps you blocked from moving forward
  • Keeps you thinking inwardly and gives you a tendency to become insular
  • Stops growth for you and others

I love solving problems so I love asking questions. I love learning. I love the challenge of something new and seeking answers from a new perspective. I love to be inquisitive and curious and look for a new way, a new path, a new idea.

What is ONE question that you can ask – of yourself – or someone else, that will give you the biggest momentum, or clarity right now to move towards your dreams and visions more confidently? It might be tangible, or it might be more abstract.

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