A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a couple of friends... as you do. We love getting together to not only enjoy each other's company, but also to help each other in our businesses. We're all in the 'solopreneur' category, which means we work on our own and that means a little bit of support and encouragement doesn't go astray.
So, the mighty question comes up... If you knew you couldn't fail, what would you do? It's amazing what those ten words can do to a person... I've heard it many times before but each time I hear it, I hear a different response from myself - and others!
For me this time, I wasn't really sure. I had to think about it and after a while, I realised it's because I hadn't actually defined what it meant to fail. I don't really believe in failure... If you look up the definition it's 'A lack of success'... How do you define success?
Here are my thoughts on failing...
- You can fail an exam... if there is a required pass rate, then yes, you can fail if you don't perform up to their pre-requisite standards...
- Maybe you can fail at business if you go bankrupt... but no, I know that many of the most successful business people have been broke or very close to it and they are definitely NOT in the failure basket...
- You can fail....
For me I realised failure was more about getting it wrong... and that is another really grey area. Getting it wrong is a subjective discussion. If you think you're worried about getting things wrong, you can read my article about that here...
Or maybe it's about not being good enough?
- Certainly, if you fail a test, you're seen as not being good enough... YET!
- Have I failed if I put out a promotion and I get no response? No, because I've learned something about what doesn't work and know more about what to do next time.
- Have I failed as a mother if my children don't speak to me? Well, I'm not a mother, but I am a stepmother and there are quite a few times that they don't speak to me... I don't call myself a failure because of that, I just think we're going through a phase that will sort itself out with a bit of effort...
- Have I failed if I don't have a successful business? Aaahhh, what is a success...another exceedingly grey area which I won't start on right now... but NO, because if I have a business at all, then I consider myself a success for giving it a go, for helping others with what I do
So failure really comes down to your own standards. If I set a personal goal and 'fail' to achieve that particular goal, then it's really up to me to reframe it as a successful learning experience that will set me up well for next time! And if you do 'fail' a test... an exam... whatever it is that you've been told that you're not good enough yet at... then that can only be a good thing because it means you can have another go with experience up your sleeve.