If you’re worrying about what if’s, you’re probably missing out on the what is

Focus Mindfulness

When you think you’ve heard all the quotes you can, another one comes along just at the right time. “If you’re worrying about what if’s, you’re probably missing out on the what is”

I heard this on a movie last night. It’s so true for many of us. And I think it’s where we might be at right now. It’s easy to get caught up in the future, worrying about ‘what if’. Or maybe stressing about what isn’t. The thing to remember is to bring it back to the here and now. Again. And again. And again. What is here and now. What is real. What is good. What is bringing you joy and contentment.

To appreciate what is, and stop worrying about what might be, we need to stop and listen for a moment.

Here’s how I do it in four (sometimes not so) simple steps.

  1. Remove the frustration. Usually there’s some level of frustration around how I’m feeling. Maybe I’m doing something you don’t want to be doing, or resisting doing something I know I need to do. Or perhaps just experiencing a feeling of discomfort that I can’t really put my finger on. First I know I need to remove the frustration by letting go, even if just for a moment.
  2. Release the fear. Then I can begin to release any fear that might be there. Usually it’s because I’m thinking too far ahead and I need to pull myself back into the moment.
  3. Follow your heart. By focusing on the hear and now, I can begin to feel my way forward. I can usually hear thoughts that are guiding me towards a simple next step. One that brings me simple joy. Even if it’s a really small one, it’s one that gives me a feeling of calm and contentment that I follow.
  4. Find your freedom path. Then I’m usually back on some kind of calm and happy track that keeps me moving forward.

This process usually involves self-care, being nice to yourself and treating yourself with kindness rather than criticising yourself for not having your shit together! Feeling your way through and not feeding your negative or fearful thoughts.

Here’s a few things I do as I go through this process.

  1. Walk. A ten minute walk will clear the mind and refresh your thinking. Perfect way to let go and listen.
  2. Qi gong. Grounding exercise to still the mind and body. I like to introduce a few simple mantras to set my intentions.
  3. Write. The best way to let go of frustrating thoughts, un-finished ideas and pent-up fears. No-one has to see them except for you!
  4. Have a cup of tea. My all time favourite. How can you not feel better?
  5. Do some yoga. Working through the nooks and crannies of the body has a way of clearing the same in the mind.
  6. Get up and move. Just do something! The worst thing you can do is sit and ponder, it will lead to a downward spiral that’s hard to get out of.

These work – every time. How long and how many you need to do varies, but if you keep them in your daily routine, make time and space for them regularly, you will find you are more centred, calmer and have more clarity to take your next steps calmly and happily.

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