When you're feeling doubtful or scared

Doing it your way Doubts Self-Confidence

We all have those times when we doubt our path. We feel scared like it’s not working, we’ve taken the wrong turn somewhere or we’re just not doing something right. It’s a scary feeling like you’re lost in the dark somewhere down a lonely road and you just want to get back on the right road.

But what is the right road? How do you know when you’re on it? And how do you shake off that ‘scared’ and doubtful feeling?

If you’re literally going somewhere, it’s easy. Follow the signposts and keep walking and you know you’ll get there. Somewhere. But if you’re not sure of the endpoint, if the path is new and there are no signposts, how do you know if it’s ‘right’?

When you’re walking an untrodden path, there are no printed signs, so you have to look in different places for the signs to appear.

For me, ‘knowing’ that I’m on the ‘right’ path, is mostly about how I feel and how confident I am.

I’m a firm believer in that fact that there are no right or wrong paths, only chosen ones. We take a path, we make it work. Simple. There’s nothing to be scared about. The biggest thing is to make a conscious choice and follow the path with confidence and faith. There’s nothing worse than being on a path that you’re not confident with. You’re constantly looking around wondering if you’re lost, or you stop dead in your tracks – frozen in fear!

To feel confident, you have to renew your confidence, by checking in regularly and setting a new course even for one day, to take you to the next point. That involves making a defined decision about your next course of action. It’s almost instant, the feeling of doubt goes away and the purpose kicks in again and away you go!

To make a decision about your next course of action – try these 5 simple steps:

  1. Listen to how you’re feeling. Give your feelings some space (but not too much so it takes over) I find a walk and some yoga usually do the trick – about an hour or so at most, any more and you’ll start to spiral downwards into real worry.
  2. I ponder over my situation, put some perspective into the situation by looking at the reality of it – without judgement if possible. Facts are facts – I need money, I need to learn something, I have to get more clients, I have to decide whether to do something – whatever it is, it needs a decision so you need to put the facts on the table and own them without glorifying them!
  3. Let go then – if you can, even just for a few minutes. It’s a bit tricky sometimes because we naturally want to keep struggling and looking for the answer immediately. But now is the time to ask for the guidance you seek and the clarity you need.
  4. Ask a simple question – something like – what’s my next step? What do I need to learn that I haven’t learnt yet? What is right in front of me that I can’t see – yet?
  5. Do something else. Walk, listen to music, cook, wash up even! But listen for the answer.
  6. The answer might come in a different form to what you’re expecting, when you hear it there will be s softness around it, an acceptance that says that it’s calling you.
  7. Lastly, be willing to accept something that you might not ‘want’ to do, or know how to do. It will be something you know you ‘need’ to do, or that just ‘feels’ right.
  8. Take steps towards that course of action and you’ll feel better, back on track, because you’ve made a decision from your core self, and you feel confident in that because you know you can have faith.
  9. Don’t make it huge or unachievable. Just put a simple statement out there and focus on it with faith
  10. Done – enjoy the day with calm confidence!

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