53. When you’re feeling doubtful and scared
October 23, 2017
56. If you don’t know what the question is, you’ll never find the answer.
November 14, 2017
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55. Learn to commit and stay calm while you’re making big decisions

commit-calm-decisions

commit-calm-decisions

Creating anything takes time, whether it’s a healthy, strong body, a profitable business, or a happy home – doing something once is not going to get you there! Learning to commit is an essential skill for anyone. I know it’s challenging but there are 2 things I know to be true:

1. You have to commit to a course of action you feel confident and happy with
2. You have to re-commit regularly – it’s the second bit we struggle with I think!

Constantly questioning your decisions leads to uncertainty, confusion, and doubts, which is not only unproductive but very unsettling and disturbing! Being able to commit, even for a short period of time, allows us to focus on the task at hand – even if it’s something we might rather not be doing.

I think many people these days have a tendency to avoid commitment. Don’t want a ‘lock-in contract’ at the gym, want to be able to change their phone regularly and not have a large payout! It’s the nature of life, changeable and fluid, which is good – but can be a little ungrounding. But without some kind of commitment, there’s very little chance of actually achieving an outcome! It takes time to create something, whether it’s a strong body or a healthy business, regular, consistent activity is required.

So what do you do if you’re on a path, or in a commitment that you’re not sure about any more? Making a change can take a while to work out and while you’re in the middle of deciding what to do, don’t succumb to fear, doubts and worry.

Here’s my suggestions:

  • Put the question out there. Define what it is you need to make a decision on. Don’t brush it under the carpet and hope it will go away. Write it down. There’s usually 3 choices you have – accept it, change it or leave. If you can’t decide straight away, make a list of the things you need to keep doing in the mean time.
  • Put a timeframe on making a decision. Decide when you will decide by!
  • Make a small decision that you can stick with for a day, a week or whatever you know you can follow through with. It might be a decision on what you must do to keep going. Maybe minimise some of the more long-term activities and focus on the essential ones for a while.
  • Make an appointment with yourself to re-assess it in a short-term time – maybe a couple of days, or a week or two. Whatever timeframe you can completely commit to knowing that you’re not going to be worrying for that time.
  • Get on with your day, your week and focus on what needs to be done with complete faith that you’re on the right path, even if it’s only a short timeframe!
  • It will help you settle, clear your mind and allow you to come up with a more long-lasting decision that you can stick with for a longer period of time.

Photo by Luke Porter on Unsplash